You don't have asthma, your pregnant
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
