sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
