OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
