oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
