You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
