The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
