Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
