I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
