he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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