Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You did what with his pubic hair?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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