i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
