i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she told me i tasted like america
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
