I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
