Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
