Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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