his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My vagina is very pro this idea
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
