i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this will be a night to untag.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
