We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
