Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
