just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
