I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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