My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
