New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
