Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
