dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
