The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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