Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
