There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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