sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
