Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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