I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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