I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
