So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
