i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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