The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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