Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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