just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
