I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
