I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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