Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
