Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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