i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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