absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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