Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
