Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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