that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
