Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
