my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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