i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
