So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
