u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
