I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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