Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
